The Mediterranean Diet

Say what? by #1

There has been much tweetage lately about the state of my insides, for which I won't apologize. I understand hoomans find cat constipation a funny subject, for some reason. I don't expect my hoomans to ever understand my ordeal - they're vegans, a diet that led them to purchase a plunger recently. Nuff sed.

My condition is uncomfortable to say the least, and cannot be relieved by pretending I am a tube of toothpaste and squeezing me out. I hate that, it's intrusive AND rude.

Wet food on tap is a more pleasant way to go, but it has been known to cause bloating and untimely downloads on rugs and suchlike. For your sake, I won't even mention the epic poop dangling from the entrance of the litter box. That was embarrassing.

Imagine my surprise when I found my natural hippie kibble - it's brown, shaped like tiny hockey pucks and there is a rainbow on the packet - suddenly enhanced by a drizzle of California's finest extra virgin olive oil last night. Odd-tasting at first, it's actually quite morish after a few bites but the best thing about it is it acts as... an internal lubricant.

Normal service has now been resumed.

In other news, I hear kitty litter face masks are all the rage among female hoomans these days. While it may be a preposterous idea, it is also proof of what we cats can get our hoomans to do with a little mind manipulation...